As much as there are parts of our previous selves that we cherish, there are so many others that we might have not made peace with. For multiple unresolved reasons, we may feel locked in these selves, their shadows, mistakes, their shame, guilt, trauma…
Part of my wellness journey, which has been going on for the past 5 years or so, is to go back in time, and get to know my previous selves. I was guided by my therapist and my readings to listen to them and what they had to say, understand their unheard fears and traumas, their mental and physical worries, their behavior, and the choices they made and eventually make peace with each and every one of them. I took it one step further and am still working on forgiving them while reminding myself that I am here today thanks to what they have gone through, and not because.
I speak in “they” not “she” because I see so many different Hiba(s) in one. Not that the real 10-year-old one has changed from the inside, more so that the accumulation of life in its different milestones and experiences, shaped both an outer and inner version of who we were. And we don’t realize how far we’ve come until we take that thorough look back at the younger us.

We are definitely free to choose which parts of us we cherish and which we don’t, but what we cannot dismiss is the value of CHANGE.

As scary and stressful as it is going through one, the moment we reach the other side and look back, we can see and feel the shift. Whether it’s a personal, positive, or negative change, our awareness helps us to recognize it and be more curious as to what happened, how we went through those phases, who we are today, and who are we evolving into tomorrow.

The pictures in this piece are merely physical representations of what was going on the inside. Not all makeovers are visible to the eye. In fact, I believe that what we see is a reflection of makeovers that happen on the inside. They needn’t be all huge and significant, they can be personally meaningful, such as overcoming a certain fear, taking that leap of faith, or even deciding to change a lifestyle.

Changes that happened in me are reflected in these pictures, many of which are taking ownership of my personal life, overcoming the need to please, learning to truly love and appreciate myself, developing a more positive body image, focusing on my mental and physical wellbeing, being a more present mother in the life of my child, trusting in Love again, redefining my career path, reducing the noise of external validation.

I hope you’ll be able to take the time to do “Cherished Change” exercise. Answer these questions briefly and, if you wish, send them back to me via email on hiba@whatworksforhiba.com and I can share them anonymously.

What are the major changes you’ve gone through in the past 10 years?
Choose one change, why was it challenging for you?
How were you able to overcome that challenge?

(Of the images in this post are few that are taken by Myriam Boulos, Tarek Moukaddem, and Ray Chehab.