“A excruciating test of patience, agility, speed of adaptation, strength, & anger management”

This is the title of the past-school year, & here’s why.

To start with, it was Rawad’s first year at his new school @internationalcollege . Adding to this huge shift for an 8 year old, is the fact that we were already operating under harsh conditions due to lockdown, his father living abroad, the brutal beirut-blast effects as well as the deteriorating socio-economic situation & the single-mom juggling system.

This shot was taken early September 2020 during our first visit to the school campus and it popped in my gallery memories. That day, his father & I were so hopeful (a tad worried), and he was so excited, looking forward to having a rather “normal” year.

But it definitely wasn’t even close. And hence the descriptive title of the year.

Why? Because, I had to juggle work, politics, my son’s needs at home as well as my own, without going insane. I also needed to understand that a child’s integration in a new school system with strangers as classmates over “zoom” is not usual, and won’t be easy.

What was on my plate as a single parent:

– Having him at home all the time while I worked in Hybrid mode

– Balancing between overseeing his work & not being too controlling

– Managing the aloneness/isolation side effects at home

– Keeping touch with his old friends

– Making solid new ones even virtually

– Managing my own Mental Health through this process

– Managing the many & sudden shifts from online to hybrid

– Transportation to and from school

– Being creative with him when I was going through a brain drain

– Trying to have enough alone/quiet time

What was on his plate as a kid:

– Adapting to the whole school system, virtually.

– Ipad and gaming time which increased exponentially no matter how much I tried controlling it

– Anger & frustration due to the whole school/social distancing situation

– His writing skills, since he was typing almost everything

– Laziness/lack of will to move, with little or no physical activities

– Missing his father due to airports closure

How we got through it:

– The school system was easy to grasp and the school management was extremely supportive including the principle, teachers and classmates’ parents. They really made us feel at home.

– Jad and Karim who became Rawad’s friends “Virtually” until they eventually met.

– Rawad’s ability to quickly adapt to the system which proved to me again how resilient and agile children are.

– I set myself a working zone & alerted him when it was “no interruption” time

– We prepared and planned his days ahead of time

– We engaged in an online coding activity

– I managed my expectations when it came to homework quality and presentation

– Letting go of my “online gaming” fear and accepting that it was a global issue that is not restricted to my kid only, was important. I still control the screen time and types of games as much as I can.

– We expanded the conversation and honesty range between us, and intentionally made him feel included in the day to day decisions

– I took chunks of alone/friends time and depended on my parents (who live far from our home) for some support

– Made sure that despite everything, he always feels safe & that everything will be okay

All of the above doesn’t mean I didn’t lose my temper, cry, feel helpless, like I can’t do this anymore. In fact, I did, many times, coupled with short depressive states that I accepted as part of the process.

But so did he struggle, so did all our children, all of us parents…

It was excruciating, & I am hopeful for a good breather this summer to recharge. I can only hope…